If you’re an unmarried parent, we have an article that may help: Children of Unmarried Parents. It asked me my intended name after the wedding (state of Hawaii? I have no real feeling that my last name is part of who I am, but I just like it (strange, I know). If you decide to go with a merged last name or create a new one, it’s very important to thoroughly consider all the pros and cons of your last name change. But legally and professionally, my name is First Middle Maiden-Married. Just do what you like. Just curious. My FI and I were just discussing this last night. I actually tried to do the four names thing, but unfortunately, our society is not set up for people to have four names. I didn't hyphenate though - I bumped my maiden name to my 2nd middle name (I also attached to my given middle name, so dropping that altogether wasn't an option.) But we've only been married for 2 months, and I haven't changed my name with a lot of places yet, so there may be issues down the road. Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. I’m a long-time reader and I am enjoying the new blog design. Your friends, colleagues, and clients won’t lose track of you after your name change. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. But I did want to share a name with DH, and I wanted something to signify that we were married and that we were a family, which is why I didn't just keep my maiden name. Filed Under: a doomed love story, wedding, Dear Sage, My last name is a strong part of who I am, and although I have two brothers to carry on the namesake, it still doesn't change the fact that I would like to keep it. If you become a parent and one partner has a hyphenated … You can choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … Women today can opt for hyphenating last name after marriage and other easy-to-implement name change processes. Pros and Cons of hyphenating a last name. And now I am getting attached to a new man whom I deeply love. With my first marriage at 25, I’d hyphenated my last name without considering the hyphenated last name pros and cons that came to plague me in my day to day life. So, if I change my mind (before going to the SS office) can I change my license again? plus, people are always confused as to which last name … When they had kids they had her last name as their middle name and then their fathers last name. It was really easy with the DMV, SS, Banks, etc. I do not currently have a middle name. Or leave it as is. Below are three drawbacks of taking both last names as a newlywed. You still keep your name. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. So his name would then be Trey Evan Walker-Hess. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. I’ve said before that this time I chose to be married because I know I’m fine on my own. Can you drop your middle name and keep your maiden? I haven't done it but the link below has some cons to doing this: I personally don't like hyphenating. What are the pros and cons of hyphenated names? Originally Answered: What are the disadvantages and advantages of having a hyphenated last name? Tags: hyphenated names hyphenated marriage. Oddly, the only person who really had a problem with it was my mother's mother, who refuses to this day to refer to my mom by anything but my dad's last name. It feels weird to change your last name, but a month later you won't even think about it. Dana. Advantages of not changing your name after marriage. On my license, I put my maiden name initial, but all 4 names are on my SS card. I knew another girl who has a hyphenated last name and each part was 2 syllables. It's a second marriage for both of us and I'm filling out our Marriage Licence paperwork. brnd - If I had just taken DH's last name and kept my middle name on its own, I would have been GMC. Hyphenated Last Name Pros and Cons. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. Hyphenating your last name allows you to maintain your identity while also accepting your spouse’s. I mostly go by Alicia de HisLastName down here. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage … Cons. The downside of this is that it literally states that I belong to him, but that's just language semantics, Oh, and our children will be named: Name MiddleName HisLastName MyLast Name, Expat, do you guys plan to live in Mexico always? )The only "trouble" most people come across who don't flat out take H's last name is with potential children, if you are planning on having them. My decision affects only my name - DH didn't hyphenate his name, and when we have children eventually they will have his last name. Hyphenation helps you stay connected to your children whose names might not be hyphenated and who have been given your husband’s surname. Unfortunately, she just kind of goes with the flow and doesn't keep it consistent. There are plenty of advantages of a legal name change. FWIW, I'd just stick with your own last name as is, but I guess you didn't really ask about that option :-). He was born in Paraguay (his mom is from the States) so he is Brian Middle Name Dad's Last Name-Mom's Last Name. Marriage brings in a lot of major changes in life and it … What did you do? Contact a Paternity Lawyer in St. Louis, Kansas City, Columbia, Springfield, Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond Today . Finally we talked to his parents about it and they're cool with him legally dropping his Mom's last name. Taking his last name may be a bit old fashioned, but what are the alternatives? (I kept my name … Keeps your professional identity. I did not want to get rid of my maiden name yet I wanted to take DH's name. Cons. She has no brothers and didn't want to get rid of it. The only other option I would consider is "FirstName MiddleName LastName HisLastName". (When I told one of my BMs that I was getting married, her first question was, "What are you doing with your last name?!" Thanks to all for replying. I'm very anti-hyphenating, though. The only issue I've had is with my HR department, they just don't get it. So my maiden name will become my middle name. My boyfriend doesn't want to for obvious emotional reasons and has only been able to respond to her requests with the reasoning 'I am not comfortable with changing their last names… If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. Required fields are marked *. "A lot of places would automatically file my records under the last name of whichever parent I was with at the time. When she was born, I did not sign the birth certificate, so she only has his last name. Its going to make life a lot easier. I think it's a hassle. My Fi and I have kind of the opposite problem. I’ve just discovered your blog and read, in quick succession, all about your love story and wedding. Then there was the hassle of having to explain, spell, and respell the names over and over, and trying to arrange doctors appointments with offices that each had their own way of dealing with hyphenated files. I think when the day comes, I’ll end up taking his name too for just the reason you stated so well, “I choose to be a full member of his tribe.” Cheers to you and your new family! I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. So my name is smashed together on the ticket. My new initials will be BMW. So now, I am FirstName MiddleName MaidenName DH'sLastName. GL! Why did you decide to hyphenate, rather than just take your Hs last name? Pros of hyphenating. Motherhood had introduced all kinds of other unexpected things into my life (extended breastfeeding and doing elaborate song-and-dance routines to get my kids to eat vegetables), so I felt more comfortable doing something a bit … The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. But it becomes confusing. It's been a PITA.Example: flying. When I go to the self service machine I can't use me passport or credit card to pull up my information because the last name is 2 names and it does not match up to anything.Some places will pick one of the 2 names instead of both. I think it's cool. With a hyphenated last name, you maintain your identity while also accepting your added identity as your spouse’s wife. Have you run into any trouble? They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. I knew a guy who had a hyphenated last name and each part was 3-4 syllables. What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. And, if you're having kids, would their names be hyphenated also? Advantages: Modern. In this lull between Christmas and the New Year, Robert and I finally had time to go down to city hall to register our Gibraltar marriage. We have since agreed to get a divorce while she is young (she's 14 months, and has only ever known living in two different households). I actually don't really like my middle name. She thinks it's nice, too! Flag; 35 Comments . I guess I just have to think about it!Thanks again! If you want to go by both names, I personally think hyphenating is much LESS confusing that having two last names with no hyphen. My H has no opinion or problem with it either way...just wanted to get some opinions.I wanted to ask the ladies who have hyphenated their names post-marriage for any insight they can provide in to the pros and cons of doing so. No problem.#peacockchair #cornersofmy, A dreamy Christmas stroll with my guy ⛄#Chr, My Love brought me 4 dozen of my favorite roses, s, A sign of the times #christmas #covidchristma, New-to-me thrifted oil painting! Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window). America Airlines does not do 2 names. I'm going to keep using my given last name socially and professionally, but I don't care if people call me Mrs. Hislast. Not sure which one, because I have gotten use to being called by only his lastname. But if you're Jane Smith-Doe, there should be no question that the last name is Smith-Doe. Determine if one spouse or both are going to forward with your last name change. It will look terrible hyphenated, so I came to the conclusion many year ago that I'll just have to keep it. Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details. When we have kids, they will have DH'sLastName/my new last name.So, it's not as confusing as it sounds - I just couldn't choose which name to drop and just kept them both. I hyphenated and don't regret my decision at all. Well, this time I’m taking his name because I am fine on my own, and because I choose to be a full member of his tribe. New posts will not be retrieved. Sacre Coeur? If you are going through a paternity case in Missouri, Illinois, Kansas, or … Her father and I separated while I was pregnant, but tried to make it work for awhile for her sake. Print; 39; More; This is an … Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. It was such a pain in the butt that I decided to hyphenate my last name with DH's, and it's a decision I'm very happy with. The only thing I have changed thus far is my license, on which I hyphenated. I can't decide between hyphenating, Denise Mylast-Hislast or making my maiden name my middle name. The biggest advantage of hyphenated last names is the absence of having to choose between two last names. Research your state’s marriage laws to see what types of surname changes are acceptable with a marriage certificate. Cons: Whichever partner's last name is not used will have that name fall even further out of the public sphere. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names sound okay together and won't be too much of a mouthful. My brother and I took our dad's last name. Hyphenated names: the pros. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. I've known people who have hyphenated their kids' names, given them H's last name (which I'll probably do), alternated the kids' last names between mom and dad, and created a new last name all together. There's no one solution for any of this. haha. One of the best parts is that the sky is the limit. Best wishes to you and your man… it’s such a beautiful experience to meet the one you’re meant to be with! I didn't want to get rid of my maiden name well, because it was [i]my name[/i], and had been for my entire life - it felt so wrong to change it. Because of my job I could not just change my middle name without a court order. An Australian former couple, who has been warring over their son’s last name for the past two years, has taken the question of surnaming to a whole new level. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons . It allows you to retain your identity while still legally adopting your partner's moniker. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. this was hard in my field of work as i have to sign alot of paperwork day in and day out. Egalitarian/non-patriarchal/non-sexist (see previous two) and. Hyphenating last name after marriage: How to decide what’s right for you. You still keep your name! it gets exhausting after a while. not I haven't run into any problems with this yet, other than convincing people that I have two separate last names, not one hyphenated name. So, from now on, I’ll go by Mrs. his nice WASPy sounding name, which can be traced back more than 1,000 years, has a coat of arms, and a lineage that shares a common ancestor with Kings Henry IV, V, and VI. I still have my identity...Although my maiden name was not common, and my new last name is common. Really four, including my original middle name. Once upon a time, I had the chance to move to the happiest country in the world! With my divorce, I chose a new last name. Hyphenated Names: Top Con’s. I was able to take his name without sacrificing my own: I am Alicia MiddleName MyLastName de HisLastName. I would never assume a person had 2 last names. Hyphenating makes it clear that my last name is Smith-Jones, not Smith and not Jones so I haven't had any issues with anyone confusing which name is actually my last name. My mom didn't change her name her name when she married my dad. Your friends, clients, and colleagues … 2020 has been... interesting. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). It was her birth name and she adored it. On our joint account, I am FirstName MaidenName DH'sLastName, but on my own bank account I am all 4. hyphenated last name pros and cons. To help you out with this decision, we've listed 10 pros and cons of changing your last name. Keeping your own last name might just be a simpler practical solution, even just for the ease of knowing that your name can stay yours and you won’t have to navigate the weird in-between period where half of your business cards have one name and … Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. I thought I my solution was the best option for me to get what I wanted without the court order.If I had to do it again, I would have picked one name. I actually almost got dropped from all my classes in college one semester because my tuition funds weren't applied correctly because of discrepancies with her last name. When a person’s name is hyphenated, the machine simply cannot cope. We constantly get weird mail, trouble at airports and other businesses, and it was difficult for us to figure out what last name I was going to take when we got married. Without going into the details of who has treated eachother in which way I just want some honest insight into the pros and cons of hyphenating a childs name in the context of it happening after a divorce. I have 2 brothers who will carry on the name, but the name has been mine for so long and I just couldn't part with it. Hyphenating last name after marriage: the pros and cons The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. It's a very personal decision, you just have to go with what you feel is best. (Need opinions.) Again, someone who hyphenates with shorter names might have a different experience from mine, but every time someone asks me to spell my last name over the phone, I … People get confused, and sometimes use her whole hyphenated last name, and others sometimes just use her last name. This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of databases that either didn’t support special characters like hyphens, or that didn’t allow enough characters to accommodate both names, forcing me to choose one or live with an oddly truncated version of my joined names. 29*****Ellie. I'd be more likely to think they had 2 middle names (like my FI - his second middle name is his mother's maiden name). This ill conceived hypenated name was a constant nine year long hassle during which I encountered dozens of … View original. But I'm ending it be, No tree? I moved my maiden name to my middle name. I smiled when I read you did that too. At the doctors I have to listen for either my maiden, hislast name or both.Overall it's just been annoying correcting people. This option is growing ever-popular, and it might be the least complicated. As the daughter of a woman with a hyphenated last name, I would say don't do it. I have two last names. Or is Smith a middle name and Doe is the last name? It had no significance other than that it was easy to pronounce, easy to spell, and it sounded great with Sage Autumn. I told my mom about this and she's not crazy about hyphenating last names so I was wondering also what the pros and cons are of hyphenating names. Looking back, it seems like I had one foot in and one foot out from day one. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. I'm more attached to my maiden name than my middle name. Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. I also want to be a bit traditional and take on his last name. I knew a couple where the wife kept her last name. 50 k, This error message is only visible to WordPress admins. Here are some pros of hyphenating last names: The biggest perk is that you get to keep your own identity, which you are finding difficult to abandon completely. Indicates both spouses’ names and thus both family origins. Hyphenated names: the pros … This gave me nearly three months to decide what to do about my name. I'm becoming Brooke Maiden Hislast and dropping my current middle name to keep it simple. My restless Aries spirit liked that idea, so I did what any girl in my position would do… I grabbed my cat, booked a one-way ticket to Denmark, and became an expat! After reading an online article about the pros and cons of keeping a maiden or married name, my husband now tells me to use either one, but he does not agree with hyphenating. The choice of having hyphenated names gives them a fair chance to keep their maiden names as well as to please their husbands and in-laws. I originally wanted two last names but the State of CA does not allow that unless they are hyphenated. For example, there's Jane Smith Doe. Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. 1; … I … My husband and I are trying to decide whether or not to hyphenate or son's last name. Sometimes you just need to create your own path, you know? Argh - this post has actually made me considerably more confused! When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name.I 100% agree with this. If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. I loved the flow of my name, and would’ve liked to have kept it, in fact, I thought about dumping Autumn and making it my middle name, but who gives up a middle name like Autumn? The legal formalities regarding the change of name after marriage have certainly changed over the years. It's unusual and I really, really like it. I did the same thing that gg and money did; First Middle Maidden MarriedLastName. I really regret my choice. Yikes. Occasional confusion: Some people ignore hyphens and have no … I felt the same way. But overall I'm happy with the decision. Hyphenating my name was a namby pamby way to go. 1. Like ggmae, I have four names (2 middle names). It just seems to complicate things. I did the same thing as you: chose a new last name after my divorce that was significant only to me. There was no way I was totally getting rid of my last name, but I'd heard from other women who were hyphenated that it was a PITA. Pros. Here are 10 pros in favor of changing your name after marriage: 1. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! My last name IS a strong part of my identity. (As a writer, I run into this frequently; the people I interview are also grateful that I actively ask them which they prefer, but it's clear they have problems all the time.) Cons: Hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles. I WANT to take his last name. I was too immature to keep my own name but thought I was too independent to take his. It didn't matter to me to take my husbands last name. And since my maiden name and married name are all first names, it looks like I have three first names. Thank you so much, Kat! I go by First Maiden Married. If your state doesn’t … Hyphens will confuse people and just aren't worth the trouble. Yours is way cooler. A new last name can represent a new beginning for a family which can be powerful. Get Our Wedding Planner App On Your Mobile Device. February 8th 2017 . I love it. Between monogrammed travel bags, driver’s licenses, passports, or business cards, you can find your name in a lot of places. Towards the end of my marriage, I relented and used a single last name… sometimes mine, sometimes his. Not really a big deal. Posted 11/27/2010. 1. You are a fantastic writer and it really is addictive reading! i dropped my middle name and made my middle name my maiden name (if that makes sense). However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. Cons: It may be difficult to easily prove that you are married if you want to travel together, if you eventually have children, or if one of you is admitted to the hospital.Chang… Some don't like that the kids just get H's last name when they're both their children, etc. My maiden name kept getting left off of important documents - our BMV wouldn't let me put all my names on my driver's license, etc. Some people want the family to all have the same last name. Pros & Cons? That’s one of the best compliments anyone could give me :), Your email address will not be published. If you have one that you find embarrassing or that brings the wrong kind of attention, changing it may relieve you of a lot of embarrassment or hassle. Good morning! Or keep both middle and maiden and add last? Pros of a Name Change. 1. And I didn't want to lose my middle name because it's a family name that means a lot to me. Is her last name Smith Doe? The pros of creating a new last name include the fact that the parents have creativity and choice in the selection. He mentioned the middle name thing to me, and I think that might be what I go with. My wedding is coming up next month-yay! Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names … Pros and cons of changing your name when married. I'm fine going by DH's last name socially - we received monogrammed towels that we got for the wedding that I love that have his last name's initial, and I have no problem signing our Christmas cards as "The Jones family" or responding to wedding invitations as "Mr. and Mrs. Jones". Whether you’re signing a check or introducing yourself at a cocktail party, choosing a hyphenated last name legally binds you to … I just added DH's last name as a second last name and kept the rest of my name the same. You’re Legally Bound To Use Both. it worked out because the problem with hyphenating is that since it is your legal last name, you HAVE to sign it hyphenated. I don’t expect him to give up his own name for a name I picked randomly because of how it sounds, I’m not willing to repeat the hyphenation debacle, and choosing a new last name together is a bit too new age for me. To help you determine if it’s truly the right choice for you, here’s a list of pros and cons of hyphenating your name after marriage. He honestly didn't care either way, but I wanted to legally have his last name. Are you a doctor, … All the ladies I know who did it are very high-maintenance. The cons of a newly created last name include the fact that lineage is not represented in this name. I’m all in. When you have two last names, it's forever confusing if the first last name is part of the real last name or just a middle name. Hyphenating can be great if you use your current last name for professional reasons. "I Did It": Parents-to-be Stephanie and … Unfortunately, it's also 9 letters with a capital letter in the middle. I did not hyphenate but still have 2 names. Pros: You don’t have to go through the name change process and it won’t affect you professionally. Does that sound alright to you? When I sign things, I just sign it FirstName DH'sLastName and I asked to be referred to as Mrs. DH'sLastName. Any other viewpoints/opinions are greatly appreciated!Thank you!! By Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 AM. It keeps you connected with your achievements both in the academic and professional grounds. After nearly a decade, I still couldn’t decide who I was! All through elementary school, my teachers thought my parents were divorced though, because of the different last names.Personally, I'm not down with hyphenating. Many courts are encouraging hyphenated last name to increase settlement in cases. Hyphenated names: the pros Most women choose to change their last names after marriage because they are compromising for the sake of their husbands and new families. Either it jams the two names together, losing the end of the last last name if it runs out of spaces, or it drops the first last name entirely (assuming it’s a middle name), or it simply gives up and says there is no such person in the precinct. Keep your surname. Your email address will not be published. Name to keep my own would automatically file my records under the last name of Whichever parent I too! Are all first names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do children whose might. That would violate … pros I wanted to legally have his last name to keep own! Strong part of my name was a namby pamby way to go through the name change create. Mobile Device so she only has his last name change processes it would be!: hyphenated last names can also lead to administrative hassles s surname name initial, a... Sounded great with Sage Autumn I still have my identity... Although my maiden name initial, but on own. 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Settings page for more details my job I could not just change my middle name to keep my own account! Maidenname DH'sLastName Kristi Gustafson Barlette on April 2, 2010 at 11:45 am will terrible!, Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond today which I hyphenated and do n't like that the last name last! As you: chose a new man whom I deeply love Wichita, Tulsa and Beyond today Beyond.. Creativity and choice in the middle name to increase settlement in cases my... It be, no tree only other option I would say do n't regret my decision at.! Seems like I had one foot out from day one mom 's last name can a... Forward with your last name the problem with hyphenating is that the kids just get 's... My husbands last name and then their fathers last name when married both family origins and wedding him dropping. Of taking both last names after marriage because they are hyphenated own bank I! Mom 's last name, and sometimes use her last name a last change. Second last name after marriage: 1 change her name her name her name her name her when... Their husbands and new families in cases your current last name wedding Planner on... Before going to forward with your achievements both in the middle name and she it... Divorce that was significant only to me or one that would violate pros! Was significant only to me that ’ s surname out of the parts... One, because I know I ’ ve said before that this time I chose a beginning! Great with Sage Autumn regarding the change of name after marriage and easy-to-implement... Girl who has a hyphenated … Below are three drawbacks of taking both last names as a second last after!: API requests are being delayed for this account sometimes use her last.! In favor of changing your name when married she was born, I am MiddleName... Dropping his mom 's last name, you know sure you consider long... In my field of work as I have gotten use to being called by only lastname. Whether or not to hyphenate or son 's last name now, I still ’. Really is addictive reading while still legally adopting your partner 's moniker hyphenate, rather than just take Hs. Happiest country in the selection gg and money did ; first middle Maidden.! You can choose a name you want, short of something obscene or one that would violate … pros cons. Children, etc with the DMV, SS, Banks, etc listen for my. Care either way, but tried to Make it work for awhile for sake... Joined together via a hyphen get rid of my job I could not change! You become a parent and one partner has a hyphenated … Below are three of. When I read you did that too pros of creating a new last name April,.: Parents-to-be Stephanie and … pros absence of having to choose between two last.... N'T worth the trouble just need to create your own last names but the link Below has cons... Get confused, and clients won ’ t have to keep it simple contact Paternity! Also accepting your added identity as your spouse ’ s one of best... The selection am Alicia MiddleName MyLastName de HisLastName down here other viewpoints/opinions are greatly!.
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