Understand that someone’s opinions of you are not valid. It’s an “It’s them, not me” way of thinking. So don’t take it as the truth because you’re the only person who truly knows who you are. VIDEO: Choose Not to Be Offended (2:30), click HERE. Second, I believe being an EOP makes them feel powerful. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Another person cannot compel us to be offended. Choose Not to Be Offended. So, detach from their words and stop using apps that upset you. David Pollay discovered this concept. Such an event will surely happen … Posted on February 13, 2013 by Quotes Admin “Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” David A. Bednar An Offensive Snowball . Others can only guess, project, or assume. Choose Not to Be Offended. Choosing to Be Offended. More than asking after specific standards, he says, baptized members should use their personal Liahona (the Holy Ghost) to make decisions. It's an important foundational principle to remember that the Church exists as a "learning laboratory" where imperfect people are growing and developing. - David A. Bednar * * * * * * Free Will Is Not as "Free" as You Think: Choosing to Be Offended at Offensiveness by Matt Moody, Ph.D.. Assumptions of Positive Attitude suggest that NOT taking Offense, when others are Offensive, is merely a matter of choice. The Law of the Garbage Truck. The day we run out of petrol is the day Iran will be free. PSA, y’all: Being offended is a choice — but, contrary to what some people seem to believe, that doesn’t mean we can say whatever mean thing we want, then accuse other people of being too sensitive. Bednar, elder bednar, follow the saviors example, free to choose, how we respond to the weakness in others, hurt feelings, immaturity, love, moral agency, offended, offensive actions, permit misperceptions to be clarified, spiritual maturity, talk to one another, understanding, we … "For the folks who are asking these questions, I hope they'll choose not to be offended by my answer, and that is, they need to elevate the questions." THEY would never use the word “folks” so they get to feel superior. But I don't expect it of anyone else. In response, Elder Bednar gave this advice. — David Alan Bednar. Not only do we need you, but you need the blessings of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. how I behave) when offended, but I've never been able to understand how I can choose not to be hurt. Positive Affirmations sound like this: "I choose not to be offended by others; I refuse to surrender my power to other people." When we believe or say that we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated or disrespected. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. If someone sexually abuses children we could maybe choose not to be offended, but I think focusing on someone being offended at sexual abuse is missing the bigger picture. Can we choose not to be offended when someone hurts our feelings or wrongs us? Please remember that you and I are endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.” Elder Bednar said understanding that the Church is a learning laboratory helps us shun offense. Choose Not to Be Offended When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. If someone says something offensive, hurtful or insulting to me, I am likely to feel exactly they way they meant me to feel. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. This applies to being offended as well. Oftentimes, the people we offend or the people who offend us are unaware that insults were exchanged. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. Hurt feelings are an opportunity for vulnerability and closeness. defines, “walking on eggshells” as “an idiom that generally describes a situation in which people must tread “However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Elder Bednar's talk from a couple years ago teaches this principle wonderfully. When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. Mar 2, 2014 - Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense. We choose offense. (Alma 61) Elder David A. Bednar talks about making the choice not to be offended. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Personally, I have a pretty hard time with the concept that we choose not to be offended or hurt or insulted, etc. As individuals who are free to act, therefore, we have to choose to be offended. Watch the video "Choose Not to Be Offended" from Elder Bednar's talk "And Nothing Shall Offend Them" General Conference, Oct. 2006. Updated. "Choosing" not be offended can be a learned skill that is very helpful on an individual level and I try to exercise that skill to prevent my feelings getting hurt by people who don't care to invest in me. Elder Bednar explains that clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur. Elder David A. Bednar taught: “In some way and at some time, someone in this Church will do or say something that could be considered offensive. International terrorism is throwing down a challenge, and not just to Russia. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended.David A Bednar Boris Yeltsin. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended. Oftentimes, a simple, rather trivial offense snowballs into greater, more lasting damage. David A. Bednar To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us.” — David A. Bednar 2. But “choosing to be offended” is actually a symptom of wanting to sin further and allowing yourself to be led astray by Satan… for hits two and three on our “reasons why people no longer attend church” list. He teaches how some people are like garbage trucks. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. Elder Bednar was not suggesting that because being offended is a choice we must always choose not to be. I think of all the lies, abuses, manipulations, deaths, and lifetimes wasted because of the church and I am offended. In his general conference talk “And Nothing Shall Offend Them,” Elder David A. Bednar discusses how harmful taking offense can be for us and for future generations. To Be Offended Is A Choice. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles asked us to choose not to take offense: When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. It is not forced upon us. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Abbas Kiarostami . It does not take many words to potentially offend another, but we can decide whether or not to be offended. “To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” ~David A. Bednar . Adversity / David A. Bednar / Offense / Trials. 3:58 pm MDT. Choosing to be offended deprives members of blessings of the gospel. “When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed or disrespected,” he said. The problems involved with the questions belong to the questioner.” “Having read all of them [the questions], I just left annoyed at my own gender. Bono. Declare the Way to Safety (Helaman 16:4–5) President Henry B. Eyring testifies of the Lord’s concern for our safety. 6 Oct 2006. If someone is rude to you, you can choose to not get offended. I realize that I can choose how I respond (i.e. The less you know, the more you believe. In 2nd Nephi it says men are free "to act for themselves and not to be acted upon," meaning we are responsible for how we act, feel, and think, and nobody else is to blame. Here are a few examples of comments from public forums to illustrate the “you’re choosing to be offended” theme: “Elder Bednar said that being offended by what people say to us is a choice. However, we do determine how we will act. Also according to Bednar these “less active” members all have testimonies and with a reminder of that are ready to come back to church. Elder David A. Bednar gave a fabulous talk in October 2006 called “And Nothing Shall Offend Them.”In it, he explains that we have free agency and thus, no one can force us to be offended. —– David A. Bednar. That they would condemn me for being offended at the church is idiotic. PONDER & DISCUSS. Elder Bednar asked a similar question many years ago ... we are here today to counsel you that the time to stop being offended is now. One of the greatest indicators of spiritual maturity is revealed in how "we respond to the weaknesses, inexperience and potentially offensive actions of others," Elder David A. Bednar declared Sunday afternoon. You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people. - David A. Bednar, "And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov 2006, p. 89 Click here to read the full talk. Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. Wisegeek.com defines, “walking on eggshells” as “an idiom that generally describes a situation in which people must tread lightly around a sensitive topic, or make every effort not to offend a volatile or hypersensitive person. 40 quotes from David A. Bednar: 'Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. 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