Thomas B. Marsh, the first President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in this dispensation, elected to take offense over an issue as inconsequential as milk strippings (see Deseret News, Apr. …. I conclude my message with two invitations. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165). Clearly, the rigorous requirements that lead to the perfecting of the Saints include assignments that test and challenge us. The key to a successful life in the Gospel is continual learning. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. Though my husband is equally competitive, he still lost Apples to Apples every time we played with my family. By Jana Riess — January 27, 2017 Elder Bednar says that many former Mormons left the fold because they chose to be offended by something. When we do that, we allow them the grace that enables them to learn and grow. It officially banned polygamy in … This capability, however, is not reserved for or restricted to prominent leaders in the Church like Brigham Young. I invite you to learn about and apply the Savior’s teachings about interactions and episodes that can be construed as offensive. But the recurring theme was: “I was offended by …”. Choosing to not be offended or to not be ashamed is one of life’s obstacles that no one is exempt from. You have withdrawn yourself from the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. I made hundreds and hundreds of such visits. Choose Not to Be Offended (Alma 61) Elder David A. Bednar talks about making the choice not to be offended. … And now, in your epistle you have censured me, but it mattereth not; I am not angry, but do rejoice in the greatness of your heart” (Alma 61:2, 9). We recognize that they are great men and women and deserve credit where credit is due. Vranes explains, “So if I say, ‘I actually wanted you to feel loved’ and you say ‘Yeah, well that actually made me feel isolated,’ … I have to change my engagement so that my action actually matches the impact I’m having on you. “What’s really hard is that people love to focus on intent: ‘I didn’t intend to say something mean. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. For every sister … Please let me know if you have been offended by a church leader and share what you did to overcome such feelings. I don’t really consider what I think the other person I’m playing to would pick,” he told me. When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. That just goes to show that the only person who has any control over offense is the person listening to the words or seeing the action. The best strategy I’ve found to win this game is to worry less about what you think of the adjective and more about what the other person thinks of the adjective. I find this practise rather offensive! Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Thomas B. Marsh allowed himself to be acted upon, and the eventual results were apostasy and misery. We indicated that we missed and needed them—and that they needed the blessings of the restored gospel. Discover (and save!) ( Log Out /  Related Posts. Moroni, whose army was suffering because of inadequate support from the government, wrote to Pahoran “by the way of condemnation” (Alma 60:2) and harshly accused him of thoughtlessness, slothfulness, and neglect. However, we do determine how we will act. Frequently responses like these were given: “Several years ago a man said something in Sunday School that offended me, and I have not been back since.”, “No one in this branch greeted or reached out to me. I didn’t intend to say something racist,’” Vranes says. Mostly it can be avoided. Vranes was specifically referencing times she, as a black Latter-day Saint, listened to members say something hurtful or offensive to her only to explain when she confronted them, “Oh, you misunderstood my intentions.” Those individuals likely thought that by saying they didn’t “intend” to hurt her feelings that they were off the hook. To Be Offended Is A Choice Posted on February 13, 2013by Quotes Admin “Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. “But you didn’t come for the weeds. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. ( Log Out /  Invitation #1. You came for the Savior. In the October 2010 General Conference, Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared the following success story about sharing the gospel online: “Now in this day of the Internet, there are new and exciting ways you can do missionary work. This experience clearly shows that when members choose to be offended at the counsel of priesthood leaders they only end up hurting themselves. Through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense. Going back to the analogy of playing Apples to Apples, the game requires that players put anonymous red card descriptions that match an adjective on the green card and hope that the person picking a winning card will pick theirs. Read the rest of these great tips at Prepare to Serve. Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way.” – Gordon B. Hinckley. It is a very fine example of King Benjamin’s natural man. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. My friend was lucky. As we respond to this invitation with faith in the Savior, I testify and promise that doors will open, our mouths will be filled, the Holy Ghost will bear witness of eternal truth, and the fire of testimony will be rekindled. We want people to just go off of the intent that we had.”. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. I realize that I can choose how I respond (i.e. And you are leaving barriers that will impede the spiritual progress of your children, your children’s children, and the generations that will follow.” Many times people would think for a moment and then respond: “I have never thought about it that way.”, The bishop and I would then extend an invitation: “Dear friend, we are here today to counsel you that the time to stop being offended is now. As sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. We expressed love and appreciation for the opportunity to be in their home. What could I have done differently?” We can try to understand that person’s perspective instead of judging them for being hurt or offended. The truth is, even with the best intentions, we need to be aware of the impact that we have on people. 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